All my words

You know no other state in the country gives a fuck about COVID any more, right? Everyone else has given up. I feel like I’m wearing a condom all the time. Why? I’m reporting that nobody cares in DENVER, 70% Democrat Mile High Denver.   Seattle residents LOVE THEIR MASKS. They are happy to be wearing them. I’m at a concert, completely packed, thousands of people, girls in skimpy clothing, drugs everywhere, and people are STILL WEARING THEIR FUCKING MASKS! How?

The sexual urge to is so compelling that dudes in the middle east will strap a bomb to their chest and jump out of a plane screaming ABLAHALBALHABLAHA because some powerful man TOLD THEM that they would get to fuck after they die. That pussy isn’t even guaranteed. It’s just something somebody said. These people can’t be smart. Can any religious person be?   Yes. I can see how having some structure in your belief system could be helpful in the process of dopamine procurement. To get dopamine, you must act with intention. To have intention, you must have an aim. A goal. How do you decide what to aim at? Strong leader tells you what “Good” is and you nod your head and sing the songs and do the dance and now you have an aim. It might not be a good aim, but a bad aim is probably better than no aim at all. i do't know.  

This is what weed does, practically, in my experience: it makes you interested in things, like a kid. You become un-jaded to the cruel meaningless reality of our world and are again able to see the “point” in things.   Jokes are funnier. People are more interesting. Everything is more “interesting.” Department stores become playgrounds, teeming with inspiration and oddities you couldn’t see before. You are able to see the profound in the ordinary. You might marvel at a pretty building, considering the tens of thousands of years of human progress that lead to its construction and all the hours of toiling the construction workers endured. And you might wonder about the people who live in the building or work there. You are liable to get lost in your thoughts and personally, I am compelled to write them down.

and everything is worse now. Hopefully I am able to look back at this in 9 months and smile. Hopefully I will have written so much more in the next 9 months that I no longer care. I wonder if I would care this much if a friend died. You never really know how something is going to affect you until it happens. And then it happens again and again, in your brain, as you retrace every stupid step you took to get there.   Whenever I search for how to get over a loss on google, it’s always people bitching about their losing their girlfriend. I’ve never experienced that kind of loss, but I imagine it’s similar. You spent so much time building the relationship and then something unexpected occurs and everything you built is for nothing. I don’t know if that comparison is particularly apt because usually relationships don’t just stop cold, they die slowly. At least that’s how I remember it.   Somebody could break into this house, rob me at gunpoint and take all my shit out of my room. T...

so tragic. especially considering i had the entire solution to the israel-palestine conflict written out on here like sand through my fingers i am absolutely distraught. i feel like i just lost the last 9 months of my life. this is the worst thing that has happened to me in a while, by far. i am grateful to have discovered the utility of writing, but so, so bitter that my writing is gone.   hundreds of pages… all gone with literally one innocuous unchecking of a box on system preferences. No warning, no password, nothing. god I am defeated. I am mourning. it didn’t hit me how much I valued all this shit until it was suddenly all gone. the drugs won’t save you. the job won’t save you. your friends won’t save you. the only one who can save you is yourself. this is the kind of thing that makes you stronger, hopefully. maybe not though. maybe it’s the kind of thing that reinforces the belief that nothing matters and that it’s foolish to work at anything over a long period of time becau...

just aggressively abusing the return policy You can return almost anything to amazon for a full refund, they dont give a shit I used to live in airbnbs. i would buy a nice desk chair, assemble it, try it out for a month and then disassemble it and return it. i didn't even put all the parts in there. full refund. i didn't wanna buy a gym membership. bought some dumbbells, lifted them for a month, return. full refund.   halloween costumes, snow suit, anything i would only need temporarily. they dont give a shit. and when you return it, you don't even have to have a good reason. you can just say *shrug* I don’t need it any more and they’re like GOOD ENOUGH! You can even return a sex doll. A used sex doll. Not that I would ever do that. A lifelike, latex, female torso filled with my own dried, rotting cum. What kind of person would do that. Imagine putting it back into the box, carrying it to the amazon locker location, where they’ve seen you before, handing it to the guy beh...