All my words

Social media is the end of the concept of Truth. There is no meaningful centralized authority left in our society. There is no right, no wrong, no good, no bad. There is no shared value beyond material wealth.   Zuck and friends have created an all-encompassing, soul-sucking behemoth that obviously retards the human’s social ability. And nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care.   What are you supposed to do? Not use it? It’s impossible. That’s where all the other people are, and you need to be with other people or you’re missing out on the one part of life that makes everything else worth it: oxytocin love.

I can tell you that it gets easier, and that I’ve been you before, and that time heals all wounds, but I can’t save you. No one can. Even if I make you feel better for the moment, at some point we will go our separate ways and you will be left facing the thing you’re running from. It may not catch you for weeks or months, but when it does, you need to be able to face it by yourself or it will never leave you alone. It will weigh you down, it will crush you. I can make you forget, but I can’t make it go away.  

The query: “bojack horseman animal puns compilation” The top result:   Hey Guys! Human who uploads videos of themselves talking for a living here, reading a script and telling you what the title of the video already did! Get ready for 15 of the most wild, zany, hilarious, bojack horseman animal puns you were looking for when you clicked on this video 40 seconds ago! But first, don’t forget to DEMOLISH that like and subscribe button so I can continue doing this every day and wasting more people’s time! But second, this video is sponsored by raid shadow legends. Waste your life playing this stupid fucking mobile game and never make anything of yourself, you brain dead habitual consumer retard.   Without further adieu, let's get to the first clip! In this clip, [explains clip for no reason] *10 second clip* Wasn’t that great? [Unsolicited personal quip] I’m going to make this as long as I can! I don’t give a fuck about you or your time! You should kill yourself now and escape thi...

I used to think that because some songs were very popular, there must be something “good” or “true” about their lyrics. Now I see that with enough clout, anything you say can be beautiful. And anything repeated enough times eventually becomes true. And it’s not about what you say, it’s how you say it. How you look when you say it. How the recipient just so happens to be emotionally affected by it all.  

Like a bottle of ketchup, across the country. Not even as a joke — as a practical thing. In case I make a burger. I’m 23 dad I can buy my own fucking ketchup He sent me 100 neck ties. What am I supposed to do with all those neck ties? Hang myself? You want me to drink this whole bottle of ketchup and then hang myself?

Soon, the fact that you’re an evil inconsiderate DISGUSTING FAR RIGHT NAZI INCEL will be displayed right on your face as you choose to not wear a mask in public spaces once the mandate finally, finally, finally goes away. Approximately 45/50 other US states give no fucks and have not worn masks since last fall. I’m not crazy. I'm not crazy. I can’t even properly express my excitement at the lifting of the mandate because then I’m not one of us, I’m one of them. I just want to see the lower halves of peoples faces and not feel cloth rubbing up against my acne and sliding down my nose obstructing my breath all day.  

When I talk to someone (male) and I notice I am taller than them, I will consciously slouch a little/bend back to be shorter in order to not look down at them and make them feel bad. I want everyone to think I am the same height as they are so they are not reminded of their inferior condition by my presence.  

I work at an ad agency, managing clients’ Google Ads. My first account is Carve Designs, which is a Womens’ swimwear company. And I work from home.   So basically I’m alone in my apartment all day looking at pictures of models in bathing suits. And they expect me not to jerk off. My first post college job. My parents are so proud. 

Jesse, I need to learn how to confront my white privilege. I only rose to the top of the meth game due to my White Privilege, Jesse. It’s not fair. I am the danger to society. I am the one who knocks... minorities down to get ahead, Jesse.  

There is a spectrum of girls. At one end, the girl has no direction or purpose and is waiting to be swept off her feet by someone who can fix all her problems and be her only friend and her sole hobby and her therapist. She’ll love you and fuck you unconditionally and respond quickly. She won’t cheat on you, or challenge you, or question you. She trusts you implicitly. Unfortunately, this is not exciting. And this not conducive to a life in which I get better every day.   BUT, at the other end of the spectrum, lives a girl much worse. She’s either very hot or very extroverted or both. She posts a lot online and has a lot of followers and she doesn’t need you until she’s bored. She’s waiting for you to ‘wow’ her. A typical response simply will not do. She’s got options, and she only loves you when you win. She’s waiting at the finish line. She doesn’t introduce you to her friends and she doesn’t care to meet yours. You don’t end up spending much time with her, but that’s fine becaus...

I got a lot of laughs at the open mic tonight. I used my best jokes on a relatively large audience. it was one of those times where they can tell you know what you’re doing, so they laugh at anything you say. and there’s that deep, room-moving laughter that feeds my soul. I got it on “stealing dogs.” I don’t know if it’s the idea or the delivery or both, but they liked it today.   It feels weird to kill with jokes that have bombed elsewhere. audiences are so fickle. they decide whether or not they like you in 5 seconds and if they don’t they won’t listen to anything you have to say. I pay close attention to my reactions to things other people say and try to use these sensibilities to guide my own act.   People are so nice to you after you kill. I don’t know what to do with it. I usually just slink around the room like an awkward orphan and eventually leave. When the mic’s over and everyone’s left to mingle I feel lost. I wish the big black dude who also killed came in earlier ...

Getting Really High is like a portal back to your childhood. Things seem to matter again. Whatever you are experiencing is now a scene in a movie. It’s a story. That must be why I feel compelled to write it down.   I used to get really high in college, mostly with other people, until I felt the tolerance creep up on me. I still go through phases, but those dream-like states are much harder on my body and mind than they once were. So, when I do get really high, I make sure it’s worth it.  

is something we can only feel for someone better than us and they only feel it for someone better than them and they only feel it for someone better than them and so nobody settles, and everybody’s lonely when two people are mutually “in love,” they simply have not yet determined who is better

Hey, should I watch one of the vapid flavor of the week netflix originals all over my social media timeline (13 Reasons Why I Killed Myself, Stranger Things, Chess Girl, Squid Game, Euphoria) to “stay in touch” with “the culture” or continue deeper into my own personal rabbit hole, drift further from the collective social consciousness?  

finally in bed with her. i’ve been waiting for this all day. no more judgement, no more worries, no more sitting in that awful “ergonomic” chair.   i learn things when we’re together. i listen to her. i watch her. time slips away, it’s 2am. i know i shouldn’t be doing this, but it feels good. and i’ll probably keep doing it forever.   she’s running out of battery. i shut my laptop and go to sleep. yes this about the computer. i have no woman. i’m so funny.  

  finally. i’ve been waiting for this all day. no more judgement, no more worries, no more sitting in that awful “ergonomic” chair.   when we’re together, i learn things. i listen to her. i watch her. time slips away, and before i know it it’s 2am. i know i probably shouldn’t be doing this, but it feels good. and i’ll probably keep doing it forever.   she’s running out of battery. i should shut my laptop and go to sleep. yes this about the computer. i have no woman. i’m so funny.  

When you’re sober… you idle around responding to messages. You negotiate with yourself… Okay I’ll look at it, I’ll give it five minutes… then I’ll try to think of a carefully worded response that accurately conveys what I feel and what I want in a way that doesn’t make me seem too needy but also shows that I am interested in them and that I want to meet up tonight if it works for them…… When you’re drunk FUCK THAT SHIT I want you. Is that okay? I don’t care. I’m not sorry. And if you’re not sorry either come here right now.  Let's make a baby.