All my words

  Elderly people working in food service/retail. Our society is in decline.

 I FUCKING LOVE WEED I LOVE BEING FUNNY AND PLEASANT AND LOVING AND SENTIMENTAL AND CAREFREE AND CONFIDENT AND FEELING EMOTIONAL CONNECTION TO OTHERS AND BEING ABLE TO EXPRESS HOW I FEEL WITHOUT RESTRAINT  I FUCKING LOVE WEED I LOVE BEING ANXIOUS AND TIRED AND HUNGRY AND HORNY AND STUPID AND LAZY AND GULLIBLE AND COUGHING AND BEING CONGESTED AND MAKING THE ROOM SMELL LIKE SHIT

I don’t know why I feel this intense disgusting compulsion to understand people and predict their behavior. Like i’m studying an enemy species for a war that will never come. I wish I was interested in things. There's a lot more money in things.

If you want her too much, you won’t have her. She can tell. No matter what she says, she wants someone who doesn’t give a fuck about her. Men who really want her are a shoulder to cry on when the man who doesn’t give a fuck about her disappears.   This is negative, but it is true. I’ve seen it in action. From the moment I saw this girl, I knew it wouldn’t work. She’s just too exactly what I want. It can’t be that easy. Nothing ever is.   You want to fully submit to someone. To throw yourself at them— disgustingly. But that’s not what she wants. She wants someone who doesn’t care. Maybe we all do. Because if they want me, they must be desperate. A bunch of low-confidence social climbers destined to be alone.   Maybe, as a man, you actually have to have multiple partners so you don’t give too much of a fuck about any one specific girl and lose her because she can tell you care. This sounds terrible. I know. I’m just being logical.  Just figuring it out. 

The emotional turbulence of dealing with Tinder Girl Response Times is not worth the potential reward.   Especially in the early stages of a tinder thing where you might just never get a response because they randomly decided they’re done for some reason that may or may not involve you.   Maybe someone slightly more attractive got back to them. Maybe they had some kind of personal revelation that will be undone by next weekend. Probably they just forgot.   Digital life must be tiring for a girl, phone full of desperate lonely men. Who to choose, who to choose?   You’re on The Bachelorette every single day on that little rectangle.  

  What is your astrological sign Do you believe your astrological sign has any real significance in your life. (Yes I’m that guy) I show up to the function in outrageous attire. Do you support me or detach.   Are you looking for a “Dad Bod.” If so, keep scrolling. My body is such that a father could not maintain it and also give adequate care to his wife and children. I have the abs of Luffy from one piece, who is possibly physically incapable of fathering children due to his rubbery limbs.   Do you insult otherwise good people for not being able to “handle” “spicy food?” If so, scroll right along and then throw your phone into the toilet. You should not be permitted to communicate with society any longer.  

i think i like this chair. it feels good. it won’t hurt me like those other chairs. i won’t grow sick of it after a week and go looking for another one on tinder… i mean amazon.   you can only really tell the quality of something or someone over time. anyone can be nice for a day. funny for a day. interesting for a day. but who and what is worthwhile over time?  

The people living Good Lives are not the ones tweeting about political issues.   They’re not reading VICE, they’re not protesting on the streets, they’re not watching THE NEWS, they’re not on 4chan lamenting the downfall of “western values,” crying about “The Great Replacement…” they’re busy doing what they love and spending time with the people they care about and tuning out the noise.   they’re focused on themselves and their communities and the things they can control. they probably don’t even vote. i know they’re out there. too autistic to react to propaganda, immune to the never-ending political clown show where nobody wins because all the contestants are losers.

On an internet increasingly congested with mountains, oceans, entire planets of of BULLSHIT, the last way to get a semblance of truth without being sold something seems to be to type your query into google followed by “reddit,” to read firsthand accounts, and to make up your own mind about reality based on the quality of their writing.   If I know humans, this final bastion of truth will soon be toppled by moneyed interests too. It is probably being compromised as we speak by a group of ambitious fellows who have made this same realization and have the means to exploit it.  

That long, vulnerable adolescent monologue at the end of “That Power” by Donald Glover speaks so directly to me — it’s like he ripped it straight from my inarticulate young heart.   I’ve always loved a good confession. It’s like, I want this girl to know that I like her but I don’t want to deal with the consequences of her knowing it. My ego can’t take it. I just want to “go nuclear” and disappear.   I thought about what I would say to Sarah Su almost every day on the bus after school. We had known each other for almost a year since I transferred in for 6th grade, and for some reason we were friends. She was shy, I was shy. I don’t know. We talked a lot on Facebook and a little in real life.   I never fantasized about touching her. Only the abstract, innocent form of love you might find in a Disney Channel Original Movie. On April Fools, I messaged her asking her to be my girlfriend. I then retracted my statement — as it was April 1st, 2010. Little did I know I would be ...

I thought about what I would say to Clara almost every day on the bus after school. We knew each other for about a year since I transferred into 6th grade. We were both shy. We talked a lot on Facebook and a little in real life.   I never fantasized about touching her. Only that abstract, innocent form of love, the Disney Channel Original Movie kind. On April Fools, I messaged her proposing she be my girlfriend. I quickly retracted this request — it was April 1st, 2010. Little did I know I would be moving to Hawaii in two months. The joke was on me. The joke continued to be on me when I visited Boston in 2020, which is where Clara happened to be going to college, ten whole years later. For some reason I thought she’d grow out of her shyness like I had. For some reason I thought we might still have something in common, some magic chemistry, the kind you only have with people from your past. There was none. She likes KPOP now. We will never speak again.

On my best days, I feel comedy is not simply a manipulative tool you use to get people to like you, but a form of healing. A redemptive force converting anxiety into ecstasy.   A good joke has tension. It makes you anxious on purpose, and then relieves you of that feeling. Or it takes something that people are already anxious about (rape, murder, death) and attempts to make FUN of the situation.   A lot of people don’t like when you try to make FUN of something that should not be FUN. Why should it not be fun? Because it hurts you, so it should hurt everyone else too? Why are you gatekeeping happiness? They made some mouth sounds you didn’t like?   How broken do you have to be to resent people for MAKING FUN?  This note is too reductive. I'm sorry if you read it. 

On my best days, I feel comedy is not simply a manipulative tool you use to get people to like you, but a form of healing. A redemptive force that converts anxiety into ecstasy.   A good joke has tension. It makes you anxious on purpose, and then relieves you of that feeling. Or it takes something that people are already anxious about (rape, murder, death) and attempts to make FUN of the situation.   A lot of people don’t like when you try to make FUN of something that should not be FUN. Why should it not be fun? Because it hurts you, so it should hurt everyone else too? Why are you gatekeeping peoples’ happiness? They made some mouth sounds you didn’t like?   How broken do you have to be to resent people for MAKING FUN?  

I hope they play ‘What a Wonderful World’ while the songbirds cry And everything can move in slow motion in steps like it did when we were teenagers, infinite in depth

washington mountains big frosty rocks seated, astounded gawking i watch littered with evergreens bold and some bare send you a picture but why would i share? used to sell beer and jackets and shoes what is an ad man with no magic muse? i could go home retreat to my bed but id rather stay in mountains instead