there should be a word

for the dullness you feel when you’ve come into a boba shop or a diner or something like 15 minutes before closing and the cashier-waitress-food-slave-attendant is somewhat pretty and clearly tired and you feel so bad for her so you just want to turn around and go home, but you don’t, because that would be stupid, so you tell her what you want and try to smile and try not to say “sorry” or look too deeply into her eyes and feel any more guilt than absolutely necessary to complete this cursed transaction. 

there should also be a word for the type of guy who goes into dining establishments such as bars, bakeries, etc, doesn’t buy anything and just sits in the corner on his laptop observing people for free. a free live show. terrified that someone who works here will venture over and notice that i am freeloading and politely with a smile ask me if i’m planning on purchasing anything to which i would respond “nope, just chilling.” but i know they don’t want to have that interaction so i’m content to just keep on chilling, silently drowning in the anxiety of the situation i have caused for myself. 

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