I lost my wallet in Vegas

I wasn’t really upset about it because i had other things to be upset about and also there was no money in there on account of I lost it all playing black jack right before it happened. And no credit cards in there because I keep them attached to the back of the evil friendship addiction device i carry with me everywhere every day. All I ended up losing was a condom and a tablet of advil and some old gift cards I hadn’t seen in years. 


the real loss was the sentimental value of the wallet. (oh god, i’m old enough to assign “sentimental value” to things.) it was a shitty velcro wallet that said “bugle boy” on the front. i had no idea what that meant but it didn’t matter because it was funny. i had been carrying that around for about 5 years since my mom gave it to me because i didn’t have a wallet and i just never bothered to get a better one. it accompanied me on every trip, every plane, every relationship, every job, bugle boy was there. and now it is gone. thank u, next

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