The News

Oh shit Putin might hit the button! Oh shit! keep looking at the screen because you never know your whole life and the lives of everyone you know might be gone in an instant so don’t flip that channel! And while you’re at it, enjoy the taste of Lays Potato Chips. Crunch crunch crunch. Ooh you’re hungry now aren’t you. Give us your money. It won’t be worth anything soon anyways because the whole world is about to explode! So you might as well spend your final few moments snacking on some delicious Lays Potato Chips, you stupid fat monkey pig.

Oh oh oh oh also everyone is still dying everywhere from The Flu so put your 6th mask on and get your 43rd booster shot to stay SAFE! You want to be SAFE don’t you? You don’t want to be that one fucking idiot retard who goes and gets themself sick and DIES? You probably shouldn’t even go outside, actually. There is no love to be found in crowds or any kind of physical community so just stay at home, alone, stare at the screen and BUY THE LAYS POTATO CHIPS. 

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