dear everyone


dear everyone from college 
dear every online friend

dear every single girl

dear everyone i never called back

dear everyone who was nothing but good to me

dear every relative i never got to know

dear everyone i’ve ever flaked on

dear everyone i’ve ever lied to

dear everyone i’ve ever used

dear everyone i’ve ever mislead

dear everyone i’ve ever pitied

dear every teacher who gave me an extension

dear every recruiter who has ever viewed my resume

dear every person who has ever seen me on stage

dear every person at my high school graduation

dear every other text book narcissist raised by screens



dear every person i’ve ever known. dear everyone who thinks they’ve ever known me. dear everyone:


Your experience of ‘Thomas Johnston’ has been part of a social experiment conducted by Harvard University. We are sorry for the confusion and thank you for your participation in the fight against adult-onset Superautism. Do not reply. This is an automated message. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Opposite of a Praise Kink

It always hurts me to be praised or appreciated. Especially over text. When I receive kind words from someone in any context, any medium where the point of the words are to flatter me, appreciate me, or anything like that, I just Can Not read it. It’s always too much. I can’t be like “aww, that’s so sweet! thanks!” and go about my day. I can’t even take people thinking positively of me. I can’t take it when my parents say they love me or when my girlfriend tries to express how she feels. I don’t want to hear it and I don’t know why.   Even when everything was going well, even in the best moments of my life, enjoying the spoils of years of passive effort, I would not be able to take ‘Congratulations’ comfortably.  
Read more

the elephant

yesterday at zoo with friends. struggle to repress dark thoughts. we get to the elephant. it’s in jail. dark dirt room with big roman pillars. we view it from behind huge glass screen. it stands there sadly. most humanoids are unphased. they comment on its funny trunk.   i’m staring at this big sad creature. staring directly into the void. my friends are ready to move on. i’m silently communicating with the elephant via ESP. i tell him that i feel the same way, all day inside. staring at a screen. wanting to thrash around and break free but knowing it’s pointless. enduring those vacuous stares all day. always under surveillance. moving like you’re underwater. that slight grip in your chest — drowning all the time. i want to touch him. i can’t tell why i think he’s sentient in a way the other animals aren’t. some look in his eyes. we’ve been locked for several minutes now.   friend comes over and says hey lets move on. i’m like okay. but i could stare at this thing all day. for...
Read more

i care too much about how i’m dressed now

i miss when i didn’t care. i miss when i didnt know what went with what and i just put on a pair of jeans and a wrinkled t shirt and some sneakers and walked out the door and didn’t think about it at all. didn’t think about the way people looked at me, didn’t compare myself to them, wasn’t so painfully aware of what expensive clothes look like and who wears them and why. i miss when i was 19 and told my friend "fashion is just a scam to trick poor people into giving their money away" and really meant it. really didn't see any further than that. 
Read more